I woke up to the smell of bacon, eggs and … French toast. My mouth watered then I frowned.
There was a knock on the door and to make this day worse, Heather peeked her perfect little head into the room smiling. “Morning love” “Morning” I whispered looking up. “Harry had work so he asked if I come over and make sure you’re settled in and get something to eat” she said jolly and I sighed getting up.
What an amazing way to wake up on my vacation. Great food I can’t eat and one of the reasons I choose that decision.
I walked out the room after her and froze seeing all the food out. I wanted to cry. “Don’t be scared grab a plate and eat up” she said sitting down and I followed. I would eat a little but not too much. Hopefully once she left I would burn some of it off.
I had two pieces of bacon, some eggs and a slice of french toast sitting down as she looked at my plate. “Thats all you’re gonna eat?” I nodded smiling. “Oh come on, I made all of this so we could stuff ourselves don’t be shy” she reassured and I shook my head.
"Its fine. I’m on a diet-" "Diet?" she asked and I nodded taking a piece of the french toast. "Why the hell are you on a diet for?" "Just want to drop a few pounds, nothing serious" "Well don’t tell Harry that. He’ll have a shit fit then sit here and make sure you eat everything. He doesn’t fancy diets" she explained and I think I finally understood why he kept looking over my body when he saw it.
I just wanted to drop a few pound then maintain it. Nothing crazy.
"So you’re turning twenty two next week right?" she said changing the subject and I nodded. "Any plans yet?" "I honestly don’t know. I don’t really want to do anything-" "No its your birthday silly, We’ll plan something don’t worry" she smirked.
"Princess?" he called out and I smiled walking out the room. It was after 4:30 meaning, he was all mine. Heather went to work not to long ago, so we had no interruptions either. He held up a McDonalds bag smiling "Thought you might want something American"
I faked a smile looking at the bag. “You should have told me, I ate already” I lied. “Not much though, Heather told me you had a small breakfast then salad”
Fuck You Heather.
"Come on princess, come eat with me" he said sitting down with the bag on the table as I looked at the bag weighing my options. I had none. He’d make me eat it all. "What you don’t like McDonalds?" "No… It’s just really greasy and stuff. I would rather eat something … abit more healthy"
"Why?" he demanded getting up and walking over to me. "I’m just watching my weight a bit-"
"Are you on a diet?" "No" I said quickly shaking my head. He stared down at me with a straight face. The come sit down and eat" he ordered and I sighed. I didn’t want to be difficult. "Look I-" "You were beautiful then, you’re beautiful now so eat. I dont like that weight conscious shit" he stated walking away and pulling the seat out waiting for me to sit.
"I’m not weight conscious. I just dont want to eat that" "Well you don’t have a choice, eat or be punished" "Because I dont want to eat that greasy food?" He shook his head looking at me. "No because you’re on a fucking diet and you don’t need it. Now sit down and eat. Last warning"
"Do you do this to Heather?" I demanded getting pissed. "No because I don’t need to. She eats and she could all day if she wanted. Thats what I want" "Well I dont. I cant. She doesn’t gain weight, I do. You saw me before" "I loved you before"
"I love this" I said pointing to my stomach and he walked to me glaring. "Why? I didn’t want you to change, I want you to accept yourself-" "Its not all about you" I screamed tired of fighting over this. It was fucking stupid.
"Excuse me?" The anger was sucked out of me and replaced with fear. I didn’t respond looking down as he walked away seconds later in silence. "I love myself this way. I love this and I feel comfortable in my skin now" Silence. "Im sorry"
When I first noticed this was my punishment, I was relieved. No spankings! I rather him ignore me than feel pain.
I know why he picked this. It would slowly kill me. He acted like I wasn’t even there and now I was wishing I got a spanking. Yes it was pain but for only a few seconds. This was for hours and with every hour, I felt myself break more.
I felt like no one my whole life till he came in, now he was doing the same thing and I fucking hated it. Enough to cry myself to sleep as he stayed away from me speaking to his friends and Heather on the phone laughing, calling her love and beautiful.
I wanted – needed that.
I woke up hearing voices and instantly knew it was his friends and Heather. I didn’t move from the bed, I was trying to keep myself together. I wasn’t going to have him ignore me in front of everyone else too.
The door open quietly and I heard her. “Hey love” I waved looking at her as she frowned. “You okay?” I nodded hoping she would just leave. “Why not come and socialize then?” I shook my head. “No I’m fine, but thank you though” I whispered and she came in the room. “Come on it’s your vacation” Vacation that’s already fucked up.
“Come on please” she begged and I just wanted to scream no. But being the dumb one I am, I gave in. I got out of the bed quietly and she dragged me out the room to the living room. Everyone already had a cup in there and smiling. “Hey love” Zayn said and I was surprised. He didn’t want me to talk to him but invited him over. Made sense.
I sat down quietly next to Heather as Harry walked out the kitchen. My heart dropped as I met his eyes but he quickly looked away walking to the couch where we were. Instead of sitting in between us, he sat on Heathers other side and pulled her to him.
I tried so hard to swallow the lump in my throat feeling like shit. I kept my head down as everyone spoke and laughed but I could clearly hear them next to me. I could hear the laughing, the kissing and sweet words. If his goal was to make me feel like nothing, cause me to break down and want the first flight out of here, he got it.
I got up quickly trying to fight the tears as I hurried to the bathroom locking the door. I let myself crumble that instant too. Nothing was worse than seeing the person you love, loving someone else. What made it even worse was, he knew my feelings for him. He knew he was all I had and he didn’t care.
He wanted me to suffer just because of some crappy food.
I couldn’t control the tears as I cried on the floor, shaking with that embarrassing heartbreaking moment playing over and over in my mind. I don’t want this.
There was a knock on the door and I quickly got up wiping my tears. “Hold on” I said trying to fix myself but it was so fucking obvious I was crying. My eyes were red and puffy.
Head down and go straight for the room.
I took a deep breath then unlock the door opening it. “Sorry” I whispered walking past the person quickly. “You alright love?” Zayn. I nodded continuing to walk when he pulled me back making me face him. I pulled away instantly. “I’m fine” I whispered walking down the hall.
"Hey I know about the thing between you, Heather and Harry" He said causing me to freeze up. How the hell did he know? Kind of thought he would be private about this."Guess you pissed them off today but, he shouldn’t treat you like that" he said touching my shoulder. "You don’t deserve that" I shrugged it off turning to him.
"He obviously thinks I do" I whispered and shook my head shutting up. This would make everything 100 times worse.
"I can’t talk-" his eyes went behind me and I turned seeing Harry standing there emotionless.